Divine Truth or Wounded Truth?

Divine Truth or Wounded Truth?

Here’s a super subtle thing I teach, that winds up making all the difference in the world to a girl’s self-perception, inner confidence and divine connection:

There is a difference between ‘the truth’ (Divine truth) Vs what ‘feels true’ (wounded truth) about ourselves.

For example:
Wounded truth: Feels true that “I am alone. If I am fully myself no one will like me”
Divine Truth – “I am loved and supported. When I am fully ‘me’, I attract who I am meant to”

Another example:
Wounded truth: “I need to work hard to prove myself and earn respect and approval”
Divine Truth: “I am already enough, loved and supported”

So, what is a “Wounded Truth”?

Wounded truths are stories our minds came up with when we were younger to explain or rationalize life events; they attempt to cover or protect us from subconscious wounds. They feel super true even though they also make us sad.

Conversely, wound-free and connected to Source, our higher selves know how loved we are and that the life event was perhaps a lesson, but had nothing to do with our worth.

I can intuitively see and feel my client’s wounded stories about themselves, as well as which wound is causing the confusion and creating the disconnection from self-love.

This is an important topic in my REVIVE group coaching program. We look at which wounded truth is most in our way, and keeping us ‘stuck’ right now.

We also cover in REVIVE: How to reconnect to our intuition and KNOW which is divine guidance compared to a wounded mindset trying to protect us.

Those who sign up for August’s program by August 5th, will also be getting my Inner Child Connection work-book, a tool I created to support uncovering and healing wounds at home.

I hope you join us in REVIVE soon!
Sending so much love,
Joanna

www.joannapeters.com/revive

Let’s Lower Our Standards  – This is Survival!

Let’s Lower Our Standards – This is Survival!

If your home just turned into a full-time office for 2, a school for reluctant, messy kids who miss their friends, and a live-in chef and cleaner wasn’t part of the deal, then something has to give – other than your sanity.

If you were struggling with anxiety or fighting off depression before this, this is important.

Even if you weren’t though, this is a big deal and you deserve to create some space to process your emotions around it. Just a break.

The break comes from to ‘letting go’ of some busy work, while maintaining your values so you keep your peace and create the space to heal your emotions.

Within each of us we have a bunch of rules in our heads about how we would prefer to live and what daily success means, our partner has another version, our parents had theirs and society has a bunch of “shoulds” sprinkled on top just for fun.

Here’s the thing though my love, this is your life. You can do whatever you want. For real.

We all experience “survival only” times of our lives, and this is for sure one for them.

You know you are in one when your heart hurts, your brain is melting and you want to crawl under the covers for a while or move dimensions.

This too shall pass, and when it does you can ramp up again and live your best life according to that circumstance.

For now though, be kind to yourself and cross some things off that to-do list, and have fun doing it – no guilt!

There are no rules here, this is a truly personal thing.

Here are some examples though:

For the next week I will:

– Do one thing that makes me happy every day, even if it makes no sense.

– Accept less work effort from my kids, there are struggling/adapting too.

– Close doors on rooms I release myself from cleaning during this time.

– Make a request for help from someone.

– Reach out to support others, seek connection.

– Hide the vacuum

– Only cook and do dishes

– Stick my hair together with dry shampoo and put it up.

– Declare kitchen as ‘self-serve’, help yourselves!

Tips:

Discern what taking it down a level might look like for you, evaluate if it adds or decreases stress to you in making that change.

If maintaining a higher standard is coming from pleasing others, notice that and evaluate accordingly. (note: YOU matter).

Pray/meditate/take walks in nature, to gain perspective and ask for spiritual support.

Love yourself so fiercely that once you have a vision of what this could look like, speak up for it and say “and so it is”.

Your core values, when boiled down, most likely don’t include many “to-dos” to execute. They are typically ways of being (loving, kindness etc).

So consider giving yourself a break AND allow yourself to feel good about it. Getting intentional relieves guilt.

You are divinely supported and loved. You are enough regardless of how you handle this challenging time, so what do you want and need this next week to look like?

You deserve to make whatever that is, happen for yourself.

Sending so much love to you all!

Joanna Peters

How to ‘step up’ your ‘boundaries game’

How to ‘step up’ your ‘boundaries game’

Do you balk at having to say ‘no’, sometimes feel you are not being heard or get resentful for doing more than your share?

You are not alone my friend! That big old heart of yours is playing tricks on you, and as a recovering people pleaser – I’ve got you.

Boundaries are either taught to you, and you are encouraged to use them growing up, or – like me, you reach exhaustion at some point and start researching what you are doing wrong!

When you don’t set healthy boundaries, you are at the mercy of others – how much they ask of you, what makes them happy – you are letting someone else decide how you feel or should act.

You may tell yourself this is “okay” for a while, but you are human and your soul will become lost, unfulfilled, sad and more resentful the longer this way of being continues.

Boundaries are a good thing!!

They are not about excluding others, being selfish or mean. They are how you define your relationship with YOURSELF.

They help honor YOUR needs, feelings and values.

The things that are important to YOU matter, and who is going to define and protect those important personal needs, if not yourself?

Boundaries when used well protect your joy and conserve your energy. They make you a better version of yourself, which benefits everyone you are in a relationship with too!

A first important step in setting boundaries, is learning more about yourself – your true self. Letting go of, perhaps, the version of you that others have needed or wanted you to be in the past.

For example:

If you were praised in the past for helping people, maybe you do that often and it does make you happy – until it doesn’t, because you want your own space to recharge sometimes too.

Perhaps in a relationship he loves sports and you loved being a part of that with him, but how much do YOU love sports, and how much time would you like that in your life now? What lights YOU up?

If like me, you have been running on empty – without boundaries, to the extent you feel lost when you ask yourself who you are and what you want, a back-to-basics exercise is required.

If this sounds like you, I invite you to download my FREE “Know yourself on a soul level” personal work-book here.

I put together this workbook because only going back to this level of “basics” was what helped me recover from codependent relationships, and people pleasing to exhaustion.

I gift it to my soul sisters for free, because women losing themselves is an epidemic that is extremely saddening to me.

Sometimes we simply grow and change, or sometimes we battle our way out of abusive relationships and need to re-set and relearn about ourselves, as of now.

Your core beliefs, values and perspective (given your personal experiences on life) are what goes into knowing how to set your boundaries. If these are foggy, then this ‘step back’ is for you.

Learn more about this free personal workbook here

More on Boundaries:

There is no right or wrong with boundary setting. You make the rules and get to decide how people treat you, how they behave around you and what they can expect from you.

Examples of personal boundaries:

I’m comfortable holding hands and cuddling, but not when we are out with my work friends.

I want and need some quiet time to myself at the weekend.

You can email me about your work events, but please don’t add me to your group texts.

Watching one sports event per weekend is my limit.

I have no problem watching your kids for you, but please send them with lunch.

I am not comfortable the way you are talking to me, if it continues, I will leave.

Please, no jokes about xyz when I am around. I don’t find them funny.

I can come, but not every weekend.

That doesn’t work for me, here is another idea.

I promised myself I would spend more time doing xyz this year, and if I say yes to that, I can’t do xyz.

My family time/alone time/working out is important to me.

Anxiety Stinks! Especially When You Appoint Yourself Managing Director of the Universe.

Anxiety Stinks! Especially When You Appoint Yourself Managing Director of the Universe.

You guys, Anxiety stinks! there is always something in the world to worry about, yes – but also always practical, responsible action to be taken around the fear.

Sometimes the action is a practical step to impact what we are worried about, and sometimes the best action is self-care because our concern is not something we can directly control. Often its a combination of both, so it can blur where our area of responsibility ends and our anxiety begins.

For example, we know there is a real risk to crossing a busy road, so we look both ways, take our time, cross at a designated spot. We do what is responsible and move on with our lives in trust.

I can get super anxious and sad about climate change personally, so once I’m sure our family imprint is minimized, I’ve donated to green causes etc, I have to work hard at managing my emotions around it. After doing ‘all I can’, whatever that means to me personally, I then say ‘no’ to my worry thoughts and implement my emotional self-care steps.

I believe that we are all given personal and different concerns and empathy to inspire us to act, but drawing the line between acting on that ‘nudge’, and living in a state of worry can be a challenge for many of us.

The thing in the world that you are worried about right now, did you practically do all you can? (whatever that looks like to you), are you being responsible in the world around you as it impacts others? Think. Make a list. Check it off.

Absolutely do what is within your control to make a positive impact, taking some action steps will help ease the anxiety. Then, let go and work on your emotional self-care. You are not the managing director of the universe, thankfully your higher power has that job.

I remember feeling as a little girl, when my Dad was driving somewhere, that I was totally safe. I had not a care, lying down in the back seat in the 70’s without a seat belt was peaceful for me 🙂 I knew my job was to rest in his care, and I did so completely.

I like to remember this feeling often, and remind myself that I am to feel safe now, because my higher power is driving.

Sometimes I forget, wake up from my slumber in the back seat of life, and try to grab the wheel back from my higher power. I do this all the time! I imagine myself fighting for the wheel, and then being gently and lovingly reminded to trust Him.

In these moments, I have to gently remind myself – again, that I am not the managing director of the universe. That He’s got this.

Just because your mind wanders to many things that can happen, it doesn’t mean that it’s your personal responsibility to take action past “what you can”. I also doesn’t mean that your precious brain has discovered something that He forgot .

You can say “no” to the feeling of overwhelm that follows any thought. When your mind wanders to something that you can’t control, gently remind yourself that you don’t need to micro manage your higher power, and yes, He did already think of that too.

Letting go is hard! (see my personal struggle with surrender here), but once we let go, our main job is then to look after ourselves. We are important to this world. When we take our emotional self-care seriously, we can show up for others as our best selves.

For some of us self-care is turning off the TV with the bad news and playing a board game with the family, for some of us it’s meditation and prayer, reading a fun book or cuddling with our pets.

You deserve and are meant to access and embody peace! Breathe, create your peace and enjoy it.
Much love!

Joanna

P.S For the specific steps I take to say “no” to my anxiety thoughts, download my free “PRESS REWIND” guide here.

Inner Child Connection and Healing

Inner Child Connection and Healing

One of the most healing experiences I personally experienced, after many years of different types of talk therapy, was spiritual inner child work. I love sharing this modality with others, to other healers and individuals looking to heal in a deeper way.

What is the ‘Inner Child’?

The ‘Inner child’ refers to that part of us that we can connect with, the girl version of ourselves inside, who likes to play and feel loved. It is also where we store our childhood wounds in our bodies energetically.

We can still feel that pain from our youth some days, or maybe it’s there but we are disconnected from feeling it; either way, our personal triggers are created from having that trapped emotion or energy in our body.

Spiritually, we still have the wounded inner child within us – split off, or frozen at the age when the difficult event happened that wounded us.

You may have a sad eight-year-old girl inside of you, because that’s the age when you moved away from your first family home. Or maybe you’re an abandoned ten-year-old girl that needs comfort from when your parents divorced, or perhaps you’re still angry about the divorce because you were never allowed the space to release it at that time.

For some, obviously the traumas were much harder. It doesn’t matter what the trauma was, just that it was significant enough to change how you feel about the world or yourself after that event.  

Part of going through any spiritual awakening involves these childhood wounds coming up to be healed, whether you like it or not. You simply cannot increase your vibration significantly while carrying them.

Holding space for another human during the inner child revelation is beautiful, getting to be there for the big relief of a “a-ha!’ moment and feeling the joy and freedom that delivers for the person often brings tears to my eyes.

“Oh, so eight year old me felt she had to defend herself to feel safe! – I see it, and I’m still doing it!”

They see the world differently after that moment. It’s lighter and with more freedom.

How do I know that I have inner child wounds?

In short, most people do. Our parents are human and were doing their best with their personal unhealed wounds when they raised us.

We all have reactions to current events that are based upon our unhealed wounds. For example, if you have a tendency to feel defensive when criticized, it is likely that you are viewing the situation through your personal lens of life, which includes a childhood wound of feeling betrayed.

Of course, this happens in milliseconds and subconsciously, so you are not always aware this has happened to you.  It feels super true in the moment that it’s the other person’s fault and they are attacking you. 

That’s why the work is so important, because it brings to your consciousness what is actually driving your adult reactions, and once you have all the information, it gives you a chance to choose differently.

Will I feel any different if I do this?

With each memory, discovery, release and healing, you will feel lighter and closer to who you really are.

If emotionally disconnecting was your coping strategy to avoid the difficult feelings, then you will start to feel more connected to yourself. If you were using other ways to numb the difficult feelings (comfort eat, drink etc) these urges will gradually decrease.

It will start to create a small amount of space between your typical automatic reaction (reach for food, yell at someone etc). Enough space for you to make a different conscious choice of how you want to respond.  

I used to be super disconnected, it was a strategy I picked up during my childhood so I wouldn’t feel any sadness or anger. But I learned that we can’t live our lives this way. We cannot cherry pick which emotions we disconnect from.

If you are disconnecting yourself from the pain of an unhealed past, you are disconnecting from joy too. Healing is the only way to radical self-acceptance and to a joy that grows with every layer healed.  

Releasing the trapped energy is also beneficial by itself, chronic emotional and physical ailments are often caused by this trapped unhealed energy.

More on this beautiful healing modality:

When you connect with, listen to and nurture your inner child you can find and heal the energetic roots of your ‘issues’ as an adult.

This is a truly spiritual, sacred and rewarding experience.

Examples of inner child wounds that I have been honored to support clients through are from abandonment (perceived or actual), verbal, physical or sexual abuse, or fear of lack of something (such as food, money or a place to sleep).

Most abused children perceive that these events were their fault in some way. They feel responsible to effect change at the time but are unable to. They start the “I am not good enough—/I don’t matter” type of core self-beliefs that damage our self-esteem as adults and lead to anxiety and depression.

There is evidence that these types of wounds are linked to addiction, because the desire to numb the emotion pain with food or other substances is so strong.

Other types of wounds are caused by parents reprimanding their children for being children, “Stop crying, you are so sensitive, etc”. “I’m tired of you forgetting things, what is wrong with you?!”

This feels to the child as being shamed and criticized about the core of who they perceive themselves to be, so again the “I am not good enough” wound is born. Likely the story the child makes up to make sense of it is “people don’t like me when I’m myself”.

These wounds and stories are deep in our subconscious and feel very much like the truth. With work and support though, it is possible to bring the event into consciousness, soothe the inner child within, and in doing so, release the trapped energy the emotion is causing.

Once this process is conscious, you are able to get clarity on the real truth with your adult mind, that a difficult thing happened, but it never had anything to do with your self-worth.

The release I personally experienced, and now get to see in individuals while coaching them, is truly a sacred and beautiful thing to be a part of.

In private soul sessions, I guide you through the process of how to access this part of you, rediscover what lights you up, and what is holding you back, all with Divine guidance and intuitive insight.

I have also developed this low cost work-shop to guide you through how to connect with your inner child, and support your healing, in connection with your Source at home – check it out here. https://joannapeters.com/products-and-services-inner-child-connection/

Reach out with any questions or insights to hello@joannapeters.com. (Seriously, I love to hear from my soul sisters!).

I’m rooting for you!

Much love,

Joanna

PS: Remember, I can ‘see’ and feel other peoples’ unhealed inner child wounds, so if you want guided healing and support at any time, reach out.

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