How to know when your strong emotions are lying to you

How to know when your strong emotions are lying to you

Here’s a super subtle thing I teach, that winds up making all the difference in the world to a girl’s self-perception, inner confidence, and divine connection:

There is a difference between ‘the truth’ (Divine truth) Vs what ‘feels true (wounded truth) about ourselves.

For example:

Wounded truth: Feels true that “I am alone. If I am fully myself no one will like me.”
Divine Truth – “I am loved and supported. When I am fully ‘me’, I attract who I am meant to.”

Another example:

Wounded truth: “I need to work hard to prove myself and earn respect and approval”
Divine Truth: “I am already enough, loved and supported.”

 So, what is a “Wounded Truth”?

Wounded truths are stories our minds came up with when we were younger to explain or rationalize life events; they attempt to cover or protect us from subconscious wounds.

They feel super true even though they also make us sad, because they were built from self-doubt.

Conversely, wound-free and connected to Source, our higher selves know how loved we are and that the difficult life event was perhaps a lesson, but had nothing to do with our self-worth.

I can intuitively see and feel my client’s wounded stories about themselves, as well as which wound is causing the confusion and creating the disconnection from self-love.

This is an important topic in my REVIVE group coaching and soul support program. We look at which wounded truth is most in our way, and keeping us ‘stuck’ right now.

We also cover in REVIVE: How to reconnect to our intuition and KNOW which is divine guidance compared to a wounded mindset trying to protect us.

Whatever difficult emotion is coming up for you, a great question to ask yourself is – What am I thinking this situation is saying about me?

It typically isn’t the current event itself, but a deeper and older wound being triggered causing your intense emotional reaction. 

When you know your triggers, awareness brings with it the ability to heal and change our life experience. 

Breathe beautiful, I’m sending so much love to you as you navigate your journey! 

Joanna Peters, Coach & Author: Guiding soul weary women to heal from their painful pasts, shed shame and finally live with the peace and self-love they deserve. 

 

would you like to be validated and inspired by other women who have walked through hard seasons?

In my book “A Woman’s Word”, you will get a first-hand account of 9 brave women courageously rebuilding their lives in every sense after walking through some of the hardest things that humanity has to endure – you will fall in love with, identify with, and root for these real women.  

By reading A Women’s Word readers are sure to be inspired and encouraged.  Joanna eloquently shares deeply heroic, empowering stories. I have to tell you—when I got to the last line, I cheered out loud! – Elizabeth D, Editor Balboa Press. 

How to know when you need to step up your boundaries game.

How to know when you need to step up your boundaries game.

Did you know that many women equate saying ‘no’ with ‘I don’t care about you’?

If you struggle with speaking up about what you want, often feeling like your relationships are not reciprocal, you are not alone, my friend! That big old heart of yours is playing tricks on you, and as a recovering people pleaser – I’ve got you.

Boundaries are either taught to you, and you are encouraged to use them growing up, or – like me, you reach exhaustion at some point and start researching what you are doing wrong!

When you don’t set healthy boundaries, you are at the mercy of others – how much they ask of you, what makes them happy – you are letting someone else decides how you feel or should act.

You may tell yourself that this is “okay” for a while, but you are human, and your soul will become lost, disappointed, sad, and more resentful the longer this continues.

Boundaries are a good thing!!

They are not about telling others that you don’t care about them or being selfish or mean.

They are how you define your relationship with YOURSELF.

They help honor YOUR needs, feelings, and values.

What is important to you matters. Who will represent and protect those essential personal needs, if not yourself?

 

Boundaries, when used well, protect your joy and conserve your energy. They make you a better version of yourself, which benefits everyone you are in a relationship with too!

The first important step in setting boundaries is learning more about yourself – your true self.

Letting go of, perhaps, the version of you that others have needed or wanted you to be in the past.

For example:

If you were praised in the past for helping people, maybe you do that often, and it does make you happy – until it doesn’t, because you need your own space to recharge sometimes too.

There is no right or wrong with boundary setting. You make the rules and get to decide how people treat you, how they behave around you and what they can expect from you.

If you have been running on empty like me and suspect you need to step up your boundary game, the next step is to uncover what is behind the exhausted feeling. When left unchecked, many inner traits exacerbate the hard things we are going through.  

I invite you to take my 2-minute quiz below to identify what your Exhaustion Archetype is; I will explain how the shadow aspect of your archetype may be draining you and will send you free tools on how to create the life you want, personalized to your results.

You matter! 

Sending so much love,

Joanna Peters, Coach & Author: Guiding soul weary women to heal from their painful pasts, shed shame and finally live with the peace and self-love they deserve.

do you know what is causing your personal exhaustion?

If you want to gain a complete picture of what inner traits are draining you the most right now take my signature Quiz.

After the 2 minute quiz, I will send you more goodies tailored to the top three causes for your exhaustion, including a personalized report.

I let go of things I cant control – wait, how to do I do that again?

I let go of things I cant control – wait, how to do I do that again?

I remember feeling as a little girl, when my Dad was driving us somewhere, that I was totally safe. Lying down in the back seat in the 70’s without a seat belt was peaceful for me.  I knew my job was to rest in his care, and I did so completely.

 I like to remember this feeling often, and remind myself that I can – when I remember – feel safe now, because my higher power is driving.

 Frequently however, I wake up from my slumber in the back seat of life, and try to grab the wheel back from my higher power. 

 I do this all the time! I imagine myself fighting for the wheel, and then being gently and lovingly reminded to trust Him.

 In these moments, I have to gently remind myself – again, that I am not the managing director of the universe. That He’s got this. 

 As an adult, I can get super anxious and sad about ‘all the things’  – from a news story to climate change, so I have to work hard at managing my emotions on a daily basis. 

 Just because the thought entered my head and I have compassion around it, that doesn’t make it my responsibility.

I also need to remind myself often that worrying doesn’t count as action taken to resolve anything. 

 I believe that we are all given different concerns and empathy levels to motivate us to take inspired action, it can be a good thing!

 But drawing the line between acting on that ‘nudge’, and living in a state of worry and overwhelm can be a challenge for many of us.

 The ‘nudge’ about which things we care about is our intuition, so deepening this connection is key to being able to discern both the direction of where you are being guided, and to what extent your involvement is required in that area.

 Without this important piece developed, we are often left spinning in deep caring and empathy, with an overwhelming to-do list.  

Reasons you may not be hearing your intellect clearly include:

 

  • Past wounds have you doubt or mistrust either yourself, or that you are loved and supported.
  • You value your intellect so both your ego and your rational mind are louder.
  • You habitually disconnect from your body because the feels have been uncomfortable in there in the past.

Working to heal yourself and deepen this connection is critical to your peace, my love!

After doing ‘all I can’, whatever that means to me personally, I then use various tools I have created to say ‘no’ to my worry thoughts and implement my emotional self-care steps.

So, my love, the thing in the world that you are worried about right now, did you practically do all you can? (whatever that looks like to you), are you being responsible in the world around you as it impacts others? Think. Make a list. Check it off.

Absolutely do what is within your control to make a positive impact, taking some action steps will help you feel fulfilled and ease your anxiety. 

It’s the part after the action step we sometimes miss. Which is letting go of the responsibility of the larger outcome, and working on our emotional self-care. 

You are not the managing director of the universe, thankfully your higher power has that job.

When your mind wanders to something that you can’t control, gently remind yourself that you don’t need to micro manage your higher power, and yes, He/The Universe did already think of that too.

Letting go is hard! (see my personal struggle with surrender here), but once we let go, our main job is then to look after ourselves. 

We are important to this world. When we take our emotional self-care seriously, we can show up for others as our best selves.

Self-care might be turning off the TV with the triggering news and playing a board game with the family, meditation or prayer, or perhaps reading a fun book or cuddling with our pets.

You deserve and are meant to access and embody peace! 

Breathe, create your peace and enjoy it.

Joanna Peters, Coach & Author: Guiding soul weary women to heal from their painful pasts, shed shame and finally live with the peace and self-love they deserve. 

 

would you like to be validated and inspired by other women who have walked through hard seasons?

In my book “A Woman’s Word”, you will get a first-hand account of 9 brave women courageously rebuilding their lives in every sense after walking through some of the hardest things that humanity has to endure – you will fall in love with, identify with, and root for these real women.  

By reading A Women’s Word readers are sure to be inspired and encouraged.  Joanna eloquently shares deeply heroic, empowering stories. I have to tell you—when I got to the last line, I cheered out loud! – Elizabeth D, Editor Balboa Press. 

Inner Child Connection and Healing

Inner Child Connection and Healing

One of the most healing experiences I personally experienced, after many years of different types of talk therapy, was spiritual inner child work. I love sharing this modality with others, to other healers and individuals looking to heal in a deeper way.

What is the ‘Inner Child’?

The ‘Inner child’ refers to that part of us that we can connect with, the girl version of ourselves inside, who likes to play and feel loved. It is also where we store our childhood wounds in our bodies energetically.

We can still feel that pain from our youth some days, or maybe it’s there but we are disconnected from feeling it; either way, our personal triggers are created from having that trapped emotion or energy in our body.

Spiritually, we still have the wounded inner child within us – split off, or frozen at the age when the difficult event happened that wounded us.

You may have a sad eight-year-old girl inside of you, because that’s the age when you moved away from your first family home. Or maybe you’re an abandoned ten-year-old girl that needs comfort from when your parents divorced, or perhaps you’re still angry about the divorce because you were never allowed the space to release it at that time.

For some, obviously the traumas were much harder. It doesn’t matter what the trauma was, just that it was significant enough to change how you feel about the world or yourself after that event.  

Part of going through any spiritual awakening involves these childhood wounds coming up to be healed, whether you like it or not. You simply cannot increase your vibration significantly while carrying them.

Holding space for another human during the inner child revelation is beautiful, getting to be there for the big relief of a “a-ha!’ moment and feeling the joy and freedom that delivers for the person often brings tears to my eyes.

“Oh, so eight year old me felt she had to defend herself to feel safe! – I see it, and I’m still doing it!”

They see the world differently after that moment. It’s lighter and with more freedom.

How do I know that I have inner child wounds?

In short, most people do. Our parents are human and were doing their best with their personal unhealed wounds when they raised us.

We all have reactions to current events that are based upon our unhealed wounds. For example, if you have a tendency to feel defensive when criticized, it is likely that you are viewing the situation through your personal lens of life, which includes a childhood wound of feeling betrayed.

Of course, this happens in milliseconds and subconsciously, so you are not always aware this has happened to you.  It feels super true in the moment that it’s the other person’s fault and they are attacking you. 

That’s why the work is so important, because it brings to your consciousness what is actually driving your adult reactions, and once you have all the information, it gives you a chance to choose differently.

Will I feel any different if I do this?

With each memory, discovery, release and healing, you will feel lighter and closer to who you really are.

If emotionally disconnecting was your coping strategy to avoid the difficult feelings, then you will start to feel more connected to yourself. If you were using other ways to numb the difficult feelings (comfort eat, drink etc) these urges will gradually decrease.

It will start to create a small amount of space between your typical automatic reaction (reach for food, yell at someone etc). Enough space for you to make a different conscious choice of how you want to respond.  

I used to be super disconnected, it was a strategy I picked up during my childhood so I wouldn’t feel any sadness or anger. But I learned that we can’t live our lives this way. We cannot cherry pick which emotions we disconnect from.

If you are disconnecting yourself from the pain of an unhealed past, you are disconnecting from joy too. Healing is the only way to radical self-acceptance and to a joy that grows with every layer healed.  

Releasing the trapped energy is also beneficial by itself, chronic emotional and physical ailments are often caused by this trapped unhealed energy.

More on this beautiful healing modality:

When you connect with, listen to and nurture your inner child you can find and heal the energetic roots of your ‘issues’ as an adult.

This is a truly spiritual, sacred and rewarding experience.

Examples of inner child wounds that I have been honored to support clients through are from abandonment (perceived or actual), verbal, physical or sexual abuse, or fear of lack of something (such as food, money or a place to sleep).

Most abused children perceive that these events were their fault in some way. They feel responsible to effect change at the time but are unable to. They start the “I am not good enough—/I don’t matter” type of core self-beliefs that damage our self-esteem as adults and lead to anxiety and depression.

There is evidence that these types of wounds are linked to addiction, because the desire to numb the emotion pain with food or other substances is so strong.

Other types of wounds are caused by parents reprimanding their children for being children, “Stop crying, you are so sensitive, etc”. “I’m tired of you forgetting things, what is wrong with you?!”

This feels to the child as being shamed and criticized about the core of who they perceive themselves to be, so again the “I am not good enough” wound is born. Likely the story the child makes up to make sense of it is “people don’t like me when I’m myself”.

These wounds and stories are deep in our subconscious and feel very much like the truth. With work and support though, it is possible to bring the event into consciousness, soothe the inner child within, and in doing so, release the trapped energy the emotion is causing.

Once this process is conscious, you are able to get clarity on the real truth with your adult mind, that a difficult thing happened, but it never had anything to do with your self-worth.

The release I personally experienced, and now get to see in individuals while coaching them, is truly a sacred and beautiful thing to be a part of.

In private soul sessions, I guide you through the process of how to access this part of you, rediscover what lights you up, and what is holding you back, all with Divine guidance and intuitive insight.

I have also developed this low cost work-shop to guide you through how to connect with your inner child, and support your healing, in connection with your Source at home – check it out here. https://joannapeters.com/products-and-services-inner-child-connection/

Reach out with any questions or insights to hello@joannapeters.com. (Seriously, I love to hear from my soul sisters!).

I’m rooting for you!

Much love,

Joanna

PS: Remember, I can ‘see’ and feel other peoples’ unhealed inner child wounds, so if you want guided healing and support at any time, reach out.

Beautiful Sad – A day of grief

Beautiful Sad – A day of grief

I know there are many hurting in this page with grief. This is what I wrote about my uncle passing last year and my beautiful experience with my bloodline that day. Sharing in case it helps anyone.

Yesterday my uncle died 7 months before reaching 100 years old. He was an amazing man and lived fully as a world war 2 hero and professional soccer player. My kids loved listening to his stories.

He moved to Canada so I only met him in adulthood when he moved back and it was the first time I met someone who was like my Mom, because she lost the rest of her family before I was born.

Meeting him was like ‘ooohhh that’s who I am/we are’. Family is so connected whether we know them a short or long time, or we never met them.

He was the last person alive who knew my Mom’s Mom and Dad who died when she was young, and also her own brother who died at ten years old.

The ability to talk about her memories with anyone who also remembers them was fun for her, so she is kinda saying goodbye to them all again today.

I have always been able to feel this grief in her. She has a permanent ‘side of sad’ alongside all of her experiences. She coexists with it, for some periods in my life it took her over, but more recently it has softened. She will be able to navigate this now because she is stronger.

You know what’s true for me though today? This “beautiful sad” feeling.

When I channel my bloodline on that side right now they are all happy and peaceful and sending so much love to us right now because they know we will miss him.

It’s a really powerful love that is sad and makes me want to cry all the time, but it is truly so beautiful.

I can zoom in on how her brother who died at ten feels ..(my uncle) he’s still youthful and innocent feeling and so joyful and loving.

Feeling her mom’s flood of love makes me ball crying because it would have been amazing to know her and get that love from an in person hug. The grandma I never met, but she is sending her love to me today.

Her dad is, even in death, a man of few words and I get that vibe but also a peace about him, and a gentleness towards me.

And now my great uncle is back with everyone and it feels much more complete there somehow. They are happy to have him.

Being able to connect to their love whenever I want is powerful. It feels comforting that it exists as a permanent force, even though they are not here and even though I never met them.

I can feel the duality of their feeling complete and being happy to have him, as well as their sending so much love for us because they know we are sad.

I was told a while ago that I could access the medium realm “if I want to”. I guess today I want to.

It has been truly beautiful. Even though I can’t stop crying. ???