Did you know that the need to please can be so ingrained in women that we equate saying no with saying “I don’t care about you?? Well that’s just silly, right?
As promised, tips on successful setting personal boundaries and guarding them like your happiness depends on it (it does):
• Be honest. Tell the truth with compassion and grace, don’t make up excuses. Half-truths will eat away at your integrity.
• Keep it short. You don’t need to justify your “no”.
• Avoid wimpy refusals like: “I’m not sure” or “I don’t think so” as some people will hear “maybe”.
• Make friends with the silence that will follow your refusal while the other person digests what you have said. Don’t fill the silence, it’s their turn.
• Circle back to what you are saying ‘yes’ to, by saying ‘no’ to this (e.g. time with your family, peace, your health etc) to strengthen your resolve and courage.
Not sure you know what actual words to say?? Play with these examples until one fits you, then practice, practice, practice!!!
• That doesn’t work for me.
• Not this time, sorry.
• I’m honored but I can’t this time.
• I’m learning to limit my commitments, thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t.
• I won’t be able to dedicate the time I need to it.
• That is actually something I really dislike doing, so I’m a ‘no’ this time.
• I’d rather stick needles in my eyes, but thanks.
• You’d be great at that, I think you should do it!