I know there are many hurting in this page with grief. This is what I wrote about my uncle passing last year and my beautiful experience with my bloodline that day. Sharing in case it helps anyone.
Yesterday my uncle died 7 months before reaching 100 years old. He was an amazing man and lived fully as a world war 2 hero and professional soccer player. My kids loved listening to his stories.
He moved to Canada so I only met him in adulthood when he moved back and it was the first time I met someone who was like my Mom, because she lost the rest of her family before I was born.
Meeting him was like ‘ooohhh that’s who I am/we are’. Family is so connected whether we know them a short or long time, or we never met them.
He was the last person alive who knew my Mom’s Mom and Dad who died when she was young, and also her own brother who died at ten years old.
The ability to talk about her memories with anyone who also remembers them was fun for her, so she is kinda saying goodbye to them all again today.
I have always been able to feel this grief in her. She has a permanent ‘side of sad’ alongside all of her experiences. She coexists with it, for some periods in my life it took her over, but more recently it has softened. She will be able to navigate this now because she is stronger.
You know what’s true for me though today? This “beautiful sad” feeling.
When I channel my bloodline on that side right now they are all happy and peaceful and sending so much love to us right now because they know we will miss him.
It’s a really powerful love that is sad and makes me want to cry all the time, but it is truly so beautiful.
I can zoom in on how her brother who died at ten feels ..(my uncle) he’s still youthful and innocent feeling and so joyful and loving.
Feeling her mom’s flood of love makes me ball crying because it would have been amazing to know her and get that love from an in person hug. The grandma I never met, but she is sending her love to me today.
Her dad is, even in death, a man of few words and I get that vibe but also a peace about him, and a gentleness towards me.
And now my great uncle is back with everyone and it feels much more complete there somehow. They are happy to have him.
Being able to connect to their love whenever I want is powerful. It feels comforting that it exists as a permanent force, even though they are not here and even though I never met them.
I can feel the duality of their feeling complete and being happy to have him, as well as their sending so much love for us because they know we are sad.
I was told a while ago that I could access the medium realm “if I want to”. I guess today I want to.
It has been truly beautiful. Even though I can’t stop crying. ???
For me, what lights me up completely? Other women sharing their truths. I can feel the courage it takes and what it releases in the person, it’s magical.
When I have the honor to experience another woman letting go of everything to free herself of her stories, it gives me chills because I can feel that collective power shift in us all. With every personal healing moment, the collective power of women everywhere gets stronger.
Watching women on stage yesterday (just like us, except someone else picked out their jewelry), vulnerably share their personal stories of overcoming, brought tears to my eyes over and over again.
They didn’t need the group therapy; they were sharing their stories in support of the 32,000 other women listening. So we can see ourselves in them, and see a way forward for our lives.
Darkness is a part of all our journeys, that we need to shine through, and heal from.
Through example, we give other women permission to speak their truths out loud to others, and to not be ashamed because they were only lessons or experiences, and we are all human.
Fully understanding that, these women chose to spend their day with us vulnerably sharing themselves and giving beautiful nuggets of wisdom of what helped them at that moment, move forward.
Knowing that supporting 32,000 women will have a magical ripple effect on the universe. Would help us do what we do – take care of everyone else – and ourselves, better.
If you have even done this is small groups, imagine the power of both the vulnerability needed, and the support received in a room of 32,000 women.
So divinely powerful.
Feel better, so you can help someone else feel better. And so on.
Our stories are someone else’s way forward. Someone else’s life-line, how we can support their journey.
The collective power of women is not even close to being realized. As we heal ourselves, we see other women as allies more than comparing ourselves, and know how very much we need each other.
Focusing on ourselves first, healing ourselves in small groups and then supporting and praying for each other, is what it is going to take to heal our generation and impact the next profoundly.
We all shine brighter, together.
That is why it is far from selfish to prioritize and heal yourself. You are connected to everyone else, and you are an important part to this beautiful puzzle.
So gather up your girlfriends, connect and figure out a way to shine through your darkness today. Start the business of healing, what ever that looks like for you today.
I’m quoting myself here, but this one is important. It was my biggest lesson and it took me the longest to learn fully. It winds up being a part of most private coaching sessions, because – frankly, us women stink at knowing this.
Societal conditioning is against us:
“She is such a good Mom” (when she is running herself ragged for others),
“Bless her, such a good wife “(as she is serving him dinner).
How often are we praised for taking care of ourselves?? Not as often for sure. Which is why we must really know this for ourselves sisters!!!
– Pat ourselves on the back for being kind to ourselves and saying “no” to someone.
– Throw ourselves a dance party when we make time for doing something we love.
– Physically hug and compliment ourselves.
– Smile to ourselves as our relationships improve because we know the recipe for connection with others is self-love. They are welcome ?
I’m quoting myself here, but this one is important. It was my biggest lesson and it took me the longest to learn fully. It winds up being a part of most private coaching sessions, because – frankly, us women stink at knowing this.
Societal conditioning is against us:
“She is such a good Mom” (when she is running herself ragged for others),
“Bless her, such a good wife “(as she is serving him dinner).
How often are we praised for taking care of ourselves?? Not as often for sure. Which is why we must really know this for ourselves sisters!!!
– Pat ourselves on the back for being kind to ourselves and saying “no” to someone.
– Throw ourselves a dance party when we make time for doing something we love.
– Physically hug and compliment ourselves.
– Smile to ourselves as our relationships improve because we know the recipe for connection with others is self-love. They are welcome ?