how to find self-love when you feel lost

Years ago, I had heard conversations about ‘loving your authentic self’, and thought it sounded self-indulgent and frankly, weird.

At the time I was wounded and lost. I had walked through some hard things, and as is typical, I had lost connection to myself in the process. Truthfully, I had not just lost connection with myself – I didn’t like myself.

So sad looking back because I was surely loved, and was very accomplished in life. So what was missing?

Why did my life seem to look great on the outside, yet I was filled with anxiety and self-doubt?

In an embodiment class, years ago, the exercise was seemingly simple – I had to tell people what I wanted out of my life.

I remember trying to complete the exercise where the person opposite me would just listen and be a sounding board and repeat the same question to stimulate brainstorming.

The question – ““what do you want?” The rules were to think of things you wanted, not for your family or others.

 “What do you want, what do you want..”… over and over the question was repeated lovingly for one minute.

The large room was buzzing with noisy excitement, and that filled me with even more panic because I had no answer. The exercise seemed to go on for an eternity. I did not know what I wanted.

I hadn’t considered that question for a long time. How could that be?

For me, I had spent decades focusing on what I ‘should’ do, based on what I thought others wanted or needed of me. I very sadly had not considered in a long while, what I wanted for MY life.

Even more so since becoming a Mom, I had categorized anything that I liked to do as selfish or not important. 

I love to walk others through this journey of sacred feminine restoration now, using embodiment tools, intuitive coaching, and energy healing. I get truly get chills each time a sister rediscovers her worth and straightens her crown!

The things that make us uniquely us, our likes, our dreams, our pet peeves, and quirks, I believe are a road map to lead us to where we are supposed to be in life. 

If we live authentically and listen carefully, our wants and desires will lead us to the right friends and partners, how we are supposed to contribute to the world, and to whom we are supposed to support. 

The impact we are to have in this world cannot be found if we are not listening to our authentic selves, or if we are wearing masks to impress or please others.

The first step if you are feeling lost, is to get to know yourself again — your authentic self before hard things happened to you, and then to focus on treating her very well – to honor her, because she deserves it!

Much like any relationship, self-love is a process of mutual respect, understanding, and tenderness.

Take a moment today, get ridiculously selfish for a moment…. create the space….. Who are you and what do you want??

How are you going to show yourself that you matter and that you are loved and appreciated by YOURSELF today? 

If any of this feels familiar, if it’s been a while since you focused on yourself enough to know what you want, check out my Exhaustion Archetype Quiz below.

In 2-minutes you will receive a free personal report of which inner traits are blocking you from self-love and living in flow with the universe.  I created it from years of coaching women through hard things, it will get you pointed back in the right direction 🙂

Sending so much love to you!

Joanna Peters, Coach & Author: Guiding soul weary women to heal from their painful pasts, shed shame and finally live with the peace and self-love they deserve.