“That type of thing happens in most families doesn’t it?” “I had it better than many”. As an intuitive trauma coach, I can tell you that all victims minimize their trauma, in fact it’s a symptom to.
I have coached homeless women struggling with addiction, they are wanting to numb the pain from the most horrific experiences that humanity has to offer. They compare their pain to other women who had it worse, and think there is something wrong with them that they can’t stop using or find work. If these brave warriors do it, for sure we all do.
Like the stay at home Mom who comfort eats to numb the pain of a stressful day. She tells herself that while dysfunctional, her childhood was like many others (which was so long ago now anyway), and if she only had more will power, she would be able to stop comfort eating.
Or the over achieving executive, killing herself to prove her self-worth over and over again. She must not make a mistake, because then everyone will see that she isn’t good enough for the position. Her childhood wasn’t so bad either compared to most (many Dads have tempers). The anxiety is maybe a medical thing. Or perhaps she is going crazy, either way she is certainly not going to tell anyone about it because everyone else has it all together and she is embarrassed she doesn’t.
Sisters – Childhood trauma is so common because we are all raised by struggling humans, and the world just sucks sometimes. Childhood trauma is most of us, but we all think everyone else is dealing with their stuff better than we are.
Trauma can be that one big thing, a period of time or a relatively small thing in our youth. Either way we can identify it because it has a big impact on us and how we view ourselves afterwards. It impacts our self-worth, if we typically feel lonely and how hard on ourselves we are.
This saying states it well :
“Someone who drowns in 7 feet of water is just as dead as someone who drowns in 20 feet of water”
Let’s stop minimizing our trauma ladies.
We all deserve love. We all deserve support. We all deserve healing.
Much love,
Joanna