by Joanna Peters | Feb 16, 2020 | Healing Tools
One of the most healing experiences I personally experienced, after many years of different types of talk therapy, was spiritual inner child work. I love sharing this modality with others, to other healers and individuals looking to heal in a deeper way.
What is the ‘Inner Child’?
The ‘Inner child’ refers to that part of us that we can
connect with, the girl version of ourselves inside, who likes to play and feel
loved. It is also where we store our childhood wounds in our bodies
energetically.
We can still feel that pain from our youth some days, or maybe
it’s there but we are disconnected from feeling it; either way, our personal
triggers are created from having that trapped emotion or energy in our body.
Spiritually,
we still have the wounded inner child within us – split off, or frozen at the age
when the difficult event happened that wounded us.
You
may have a sad eight-year-old girl inside of you, because that’s the age when you
moved away from your first family home. Or maybe you’re an abandoned
ten-year-old girl that needs comfort from when your parents divorced, or
perhaps you’re still angry about the divorce because you were never allowed the
space to release it at that time.
For
some, obviously the traumas were much harder. It doesn’t matter what the trauma
was, just that it was significant enough to change how you feel about the world
or yourself after that event.
Part of going through any spiritual awakening involves these childhood wounds coming up to be healed, whether you like it or not. You simply cannot increase your vibration significantly while carrying them.
Holding space for another human during the inner child revelation is beautiful, getting to be there for the big relief of a “a-ha!’ moment and feeling the joy and freedom that delivers for the person often brings tears to my eyes.
“Oh, so eight year old me felt she had to defend herself to feel safe! – I see it, and I’m still doing it!”
They see the world differently after that moment. It’s lighter and with more freedom.
How do I know that I
have inner child wounds?
In
short, most people do. Our parents are human and were doing their best with
their personal unhealed wounds when they raised us.
We
all have reactions to current events that are based upon our unhealed wounds. For
example, if you have a tendency to feel defensive when criticized, it is likely
that you are viewing the situation through your personal lens of life, which
includes a childhood wound of feeling betrayed.
Of
course, this happens in milliseconds and subconsciously, so you are not always
aware this has happened to you. It feels super true in the moment that
it’s the other person’s fault and they are attacking you.
That’s
why the work is so important, because it brings to your consciousness what is
actually driving your adult reactions, and once you have all the information,
it gives you a chance to choose differently.
Will I feel any different if I do this?
With
each memory, discovery, release and healing, you will feel lighter and closer
to who you really are.
If
emotionally disconnecting was your coping strategy to avoid the difficult feelings,
then you will start to feel more connected to yourself. If you were using other
ways to numb the difficult feelings (comfort eat, drink etc) these urges will gradually
decrease.
It
will start to create a small amount of space between your typical automatic reaction
(reach for food, yell at someone etc). Enough space for you to make a different
conscious choice of how you want to respond.
I
used to be super disconnected, it was a strategy I picked up during my
childhood so I wouldn’t feel any sadness or anger. But I learned that we can’t
live our lives this way. We cannot cherry pick which emotions we disconnect
from.
If you are disconnecting yourself from the
pain of an unhealed past, you are disconnecting from joy too. Healing is the
only way to radical self-acceptance and to a joy that grows with every layer
healed.
Releasing
the trapped energy is also beneficial by itself, chronic emotional and physical
ailments are often caused by this trapped unhealed energy.
More on this beautiful
healing modality:
When
you connect with, listen to and nurture your inner child you can find and heal
the energetic roots of your ‘issues’ as an adult.
This
is a truly spiritual, sacred and rewarding experience.
Examples
of inner child wounds that I have been honored to support clients through are
from abandonment (perceived or actual), verbal, physical or sexual abuse, or
fear of lack of something (such as food, money or a place to sleep).
Most
abused children perceive that these events were their fault in some way. They
feel responsible to effect change at the time but are unable to. They start the
“I am not good enough—/I don’t matter” type of core self-beliefs
that damage our self-esteem as adults and lead to anxiety and depression.
There
is evidence that these types of wounds are linked to addiction, because the desire
to numb the emotion pain with food or other substances is so strong.
Other
types of wounds are caused by parents reprimanding their children for being
children, “Stop crying, you are so sensitive, etc”. “I’m tired
of you forgetting things, what is wrong with you?!”
This
feels to the child as being shamed and criticized about the core of who they
perceive themselves to be, so again the “I am not good enough” wound
is born. Likely the story the child makes up to make sense of it is
“people don’t like me when I’m myself”.
These
wounds and stories are deep in our subconscious and feel very much like the truth.
With work and support though, it is possible to bring the event into
consciousness, soothe the inner child within, and in doing so, release the
trapped energy the emotion is causing.
Once
this process is conscious, you are able to get clarity on the real truth with
your adult mind, that a difficult thing happened, but it never had anything to
do with your self-worth.
The
release I personally experienced, and now get to see in individuals while
coaching them, is truly a sacred and beautiful thing to be a part of.
In private soul sessions, I guide you through the process of how to access this part of you, rediscover what lights you up, and what is holding you back, all with Divine guidance and intuitive insight.
I have also developed this low cost work-shop to guide you through how to connect with your inner child, and support your healing, in connection with your Source at home – check it out here. https://joannapeters.com/products-and-services-inner-child-connection/
Reach out with any questions
or insights to hello@joannapeters.com. (Seriously, I love to hear from my soul sisters!).
I’m rooting for you!
Much love,
Joanna
PS: Remember, I can ‘see’ and feel other peoples’ unhealed inner child
wounds, so if you want guided healing and support at any time, reach out.